


Don't try to change me in anyway

by TonightAtSeven



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Pre Cannon, about 5 years, one eyed ghoul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-02 11:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonightAtSeven/pseuds/TonightAtSeven
Summary: Kaneki wasn't the first one eyed ghoul Uta met.





	1. The Mask Man

The bell above the door rang, signaling that the door had opened. Uta looked lazily up at the faint scent of female ghoul that rolled in his shop. "How may I help you?" His soft, monotone voice filled the room.  
"Are you no face?" Her words were slow and choppy; she wasn't a native speaker.  
Still focused on the sketches for another project he replied, "Why."  
“I heard he makes masks, and I need a mask."  
Uta looked up at her, his kakugan active and locked in with her tinted glass covered eyes. Short, dishwater blonde hair covered mostly with a gray knitted hat, a dirty red tank top hung lazily off one shoulder and a small bag slung over the other. "Makes sense, you did come to a mask shop after all. I am no face." He turned his eyes back to his sketch pad, turning to the next page he began to draw. "Any allergies?"  
She sat on the chair in front of him, "not any that i know of."  
"Metals fine?"  
"I guess," she shrugged. “Nothing too heavy.”  
"Half mask or full?"  
She thought about it, “full, but with my right eye fully exposed, and my left fully covered."  
He looked back at her, "why?"  
"Why does it matter?"  
"I get motivated when I get to know someone, plus it's an unusual request, most people want to see with both eyes after all; even if one or both is covered by the mask." He continued drawing, keeping her wishes in mind.  
She chuckled, "it's my good eye."  
"Hmm?"  
She took off her sunglasses, "look for yourself." Her left eye was light blue, her right was black with a red iris.  
"Only one kakugan, interesting," he sketched some more before moving onto the measurements. "How were you made?" He asked, wrapping the tape measure around her head.  
"We're not close enough for that story, hell I don't even know your name, Mr. No-face-MaskMan." she joked.  
"I'm Uta,” he held his hand out, “you?"  
She grasped his soft hand with hers, "Vera."  
“So where are you from, Miss. Vera?” He asked, writing down her measurements.  
“Where do you think I'm from, Uta?” She questioned.  
He glanced at her, “blonde hair, a blue eye, your clothes, your accent,” he tilted his head, “if I had to guess I'd say either Europe or America. Native English speakers seem to have trouble with our language the most.”  
“And if I said you were wrong?”  
Uta chuckled, “I’d say you were lying.”  
Vera bit her lip, “you're right. America, land of the docile. Did you know most ghouls pay to get their food delivered to them?”  
“I didn't,” he honestly heard very little of ghouls outside of Japan, though he supposed there had to be others out there. “Although I'm not surprised, there's a ghoul run cafe in the 20th ward that gives meat to those who ask, and from what I've heard, Americans are very money hungry.”  
Vera laughed, “It's amazing how some of them could go their whole lives without killing someone. It's a shame, the first kill is always the best, do you remember your first?”  
He nodded, “I was young, maybe four, father took me out for a hunt; it was… messy. Eyes are very weak, yet delicious.”  
Vera nodded in agreement, “I grew up on zombie films and vampire novels, it was everything I wanted and more. I was almost 20, way too old if you ask me.”  
He had to agree, he hadn't heard of someone so old never have had killed before,“So Miss. Vera, why did you come to Tokyo?”  
She shrugged, “I heard there were a lot of ghouls here. Wanted to see for myself. Plus when I got ran out of Australia, I needed a place to go.”  
“You've been traveling a lot?”  
“Oh yes, America is so boring. Ghouls in other places are so much more fun,” she smiled.  
"Hmm, well Miss. Vera, I just need a way to contact you, and I'll be done with this as soon as I can. Do you know where you'll be staying?"  
"I'm staying here, in the Shinjuku ward."  
Stupid girl. Uta smirked, "the 4th ward huh? Well I guess I'll see you around then." She grabbed her stuff and he watched her step out of the store; he would have to hurry on this mask if she was to stay alive around here. Oh well, it's not like he needed to sleep tonight anyways. He pulled out a piece of leather and began to cut.  
\---  
Over the next few days Vera encountered many ghouls, one of whom was dead from the moment he decided to attack her. Being a one eyed ghoul means she smells a lot nicer than the normal human- so most can't tell that she's a ghoul from smelling her. She was used to it though; having to kill a few ghouls in the 5 years since she escaped. Ghouls in the 4th ward are desperate and untrained, and with the CCG headquarters not too far from there; most of them are just passing by, trying to find a meal before starvation sets in.  
Vera on the other hand lived for the danger; she loved the idea of being hunted and attacked. After years of torment in America, it was nice to be on the other side for once so she didn't mind her overly attractive sent. But when she went into the mask shop she was surprised to see Uta with his kakugan out; she couldn't make out why he opened up so quickly. She thought maybe that's why she show him her eye. Since she was little she always kept her glasses on, yet within 5 minutes she was there exposing herself…  
She sat on the roof looking down at HySy, it been 3 days and her mask isn't complete. I wonder what it'll look like. She grabbed a slab of meat from a baggie within her bag and started to eat. Ghoul meat wasn't good, but she wasn't going to let all that meat go to waste. An hour later the doors to HySys opened and out stepped Uta with dark glasses covering his eyes. Maybe he can't control his eyes either…  
Uta sniffed the air and looked up to meet dark sunglass covered eyes. She was chewing on some meat as she waved down at him. “Uta! How happy I am to see you.” Placing a chunk in her mouth, she jumped down and landed in front of him, blood still covering her jaw.  
The mask maker dragged her inside, “I thought it'd take longer to find you, here's your mask, Miss. Vera.”  
He held out a traditional styled, all black leather mask with bright red stitching, the red stitching running across the left eye in an X design, and a painted red zipper where the mouth should be. “I love it,” she whispered, slipping the mask on, a black leather buckle attaching it in the back. Just like she hoped, the left side eye was completely covered, allowing the weak one to ’turn off’ and let the strong one take over. She smiled behind the mask, “amazing. Definitely worth the wait. Thank you Mr. Uta.”  
He smiled at the strange formality she showed, though he had only met her twice, he knew she wasn't one for formalities. “It was no problem, I'm glad you like it. I have a question if you don't mind me asking, why did you choose to stay in the 4th ward? I'm sure you've noticed this isn't the easiest place to stay in, only slightly easier than the 1st ward.”  
“For that reason, it's only slightly easier than the 1st ward. Though I don't particularly care if I live or die, I don't really want to die, you understand?”  
“I believe I do, if something happens and you die you don't care, but you won't do something suicidal.” She nodded. “Is that why you wanted the mask?”  
She shook her head, “no, honestly I kept seeing people wear them and I wanted one. I've been here for about a month you see, and at night, it was rare to see a ghoul without one.” She shrugged, “if I was going to stay here I assumed I should get one, and they recommend you. No-face of the 4th ward.”  
Uta closed his eyes, “that would be me.”  
“How much do I owe you?”  
“Owe me?”  
“Yeah I have to pay you for your work?”  
“This one's on the house.”  
Vera smiled, “thank you so much Mr. Uta, but I can’t not pay you something for your hard work.” She looked around in her bag and pulled out another daggie of meat. “I’m not sure if you like ghoul meat, but here,” she handed him the baggie, “freshly killed last night.”  
He took the red stained baggie from her hands, it's been a long time since someone had handed him a kill. “Thank you, it seems I’m not the only one who enjoys the taste.” He took out a piece and popped it in his mouth, enjoying the bitter taste. “Thank you again, this will make it so I don't have to hunt soon. Do you have the kagune by chance?”  
“The what?”  
“The ghoul organ.”  
“Oh! Sorry everything sounds a lot alike. But yes I do; I usually save it for last.”  
“Want to share it? I've been working on some plating techniques and I'm wondering if you don't mind, my place is just up the stairway.” He pointed to a doorway covered with beads.  
“I will have to decline your offer, but here,” she grabbed the bag with the kagune in it, “you can have it. Extra thanks for the mask.” She handed it to him and was out the door seconds later. She had to get out of there, something about him made her uneasy; she couldn't risk going up into his place to find out why. After a short jog she was at her makeshift living areas, ready to put the mystery of the mask man behind her.


	2. Mr. MM

Vera walked down the street of the 20th ward. It was the first time she had made it down there in the almost two months since she arrived in Tokyo. Mostly keeping in and around the 4th ward, she decided to check out that ghoul cafe that Ita had mentioned. Turning down an alley she smelt the scent of a male ghoul.   
The ghoul walked behind a small human girl with a black hood over her head. He couldn't see her face, but her scent drove him insane. ‘I must have her.’  
Vera look her mask out of her front cubby pocket, it was October and it had started to get too cold to walk around in a tank top. Being careful not to make much movement, she slipped off her sunglasses and secured mask to her face. With her left eye resting her senses were heightened enough in case of a fight.   
Suddenly she stopped, the ghoul behind her stopped a couple feet from her. “Why're you following me?” She asked already knowing the answer; she could smell the RC cell filled spit that had dripped from the corner of his mouth. He was hungry; she wasn't going to be his meal.   
He was taken back by her question, not many of his meals knew what hit them. “I live down this way,” he lied, “not my fault that you're here too.”   
She turned around and faced the unnamed ghoul, he seemed to be around 17 with light purple hair, his face barely covered by the half moon mask. Looking at her glowing red eye from inside the mask he backed up, he wasn't prepared for this. Vera was shocked by what she saw, she knew she'd have no chance against him in a fight, half starved freaks she could deal with; he looked like he had eaten only a week ago, his body still healthy and shiny looking.   
“I apologize mademoiselle,” he bowed, “I thought you were human.” His eyes snapped back up at her from his deep bow; he showed his neck as a gesture, not an invitation.   
“It's okay,” she sighed. “No harm done right?”  
Looking back up at her slow words he laughed. “Yes, no harm little gaijin.” Before she had time to translate the new word, he had walked out of the alley to hunt for another victim.   
\--  
She never made it to the cafe, the chance encounter with the unnamed ghoul had scared her. She was used to being hunted, but the look in his eyes, the way he laughed and he moved had sent shivers down her spine. She regretted for a moment that her sent attracted attention from ghouls.   
She mostly stayed in the 4th ward when she wasn't hunting, though she hasn't seen the mask maker since he gave her the mask almost a month and a half ago. On her way to finding a new victim one evening, she witnessed a human carrying a suitcase kill a masked ghoul. They fought hard, yet was still killed by the white haired man. The man laughed as he killed, laughed when the ghoul brought out his kagune, and laughed when he had first set eyes on his own victim of the night. She sat in the darkness above the alleyway, hidden from the crazy man who killed ghouls for fun. She heard that the 7th ward was under attacked by the “doves,” but she didn't realize that they were humans.   
Vera couldn't stop watching the demise of the ghoul, the flamboyant masquerade style mask had been knocked off her face when he hit his final deadly blow, exposing her beautiful face for all to see. She couldn't look away from her dead eyes as they turned back to a dull brown. She watched as more of the doves came and took her body away. She heard him yell to his colleagues about a quinque, in these moments she wished she knew Japanese better. The embarrassment of slow choppy sentences didn't compare to not know what a word meant and having to ask for help. Like most things she shrugged it off, but she still never did found out what the ghoul in the alley had called her.   
After over an hour of watching the police pick apart the scene, Vera got up to leave when a hand touched her shoulder. She jumped up and away from the ghoul behind her. Her eyes snapped up and widened when she noticed the familiar purple hair that rested on top of the now unmasked man. Although unmasked, shadowed distorted his face enough to make her wonder what he really looked like. “Hello, mademoiselle.” His voice rang in her ears. “Enjoying the show?”   
“I-” she stuttered. “I guess. Did you know her?”  
He hummed, “Hmm, she was acquainted with my father, though I cannot say I knew anything more about her. She put up a good fight, no?” He laughed at the memory of her fighting; hgh class ghouls never put up good enough fights in his opinion.   
She rolled her covered eyes at him. The sarcasm dropped off his tongue as he spoke. He stepped out of the shadows, showing his young yet beautiful face to her for the first time. He really was only around 17, much too young for someone of her age to fantasize about, but that didn't stop her from gasping at his beauty. “Who are you?”  
He bowed flamboyantly down at her and announced, “Tsukiyama, Shuu.”   
She almost laughed at the way he placed such high importance on his name. She had never heard of him or his family, yet here he was acting as though that was the most interesting thing about him; though if she was honest to herself– it probably was. She didn't laugh though, instead she stuck out her hand like the American she was and announced much like he did, “Cain, Vera Cain.”  
“Miss. Vera Cain,” he grasped her hand without missing a beat. “How very nice to formally meet you. It's very unfortunate that we couldn't make proper introductions the last time we met, I hope you understand the feeling of being in mid-hunt.”   
Letting go of his hand she said, “yes of course, Shuu, it's no problem at all.” She still didn't feel comfortable around him; many ghouls in Tokyo gave her bad feelings.   
His eyes narrowed at the lack for formalities, but he wouldn't comment on it. She was older than him, and he would respect that. “I was just on my way to dinner, would you like to join me?”   
“I-” she paused, he stuck out his hand, palm up, inviting her with him. She didn't trust him, but she trusted her ability to get out of things enough to agree. “Okay.”   
He smiled at her as she took his hand. He loved inviting new ghouls around town to the restaurant, something about the way they watched their food get killed for them enticed him in a way he didn't understand. He often got them hooked on these easy meals, which brings more money in for his family to enjoy. The cost of a show and a meal from one of the top restaurants in the world was high, but the way it makes them feel is often all too worth the hefty price.   
\--  
Inside Shuu had her shower and change into a long black evening gown. She left her short hair alone and put her mask on like he told her to. It was nice to have a hot shower, and she didn't mind the dress either. She opted for a pair of flats and walked out the bathroom door. Shuu surprised her with his simple black suit and red tie; he insisted that they needed to match. They walked down the long hallway until the reached double doors with two butlers. “Mr. MM, plus one.”   
Silently they opened the large doors and allowed the two inside the crowded room. Hundreds of ghouls sat and chatted with each other, calmly waiting for the show to begin. Shuu showed her to her seat, right in front on a large balcony looking over both the pit and the guests. With his moon shaped mask on, he sat down on the other side of her.   
Many moments later doors to the pit opened up, allowing 5 nicely dressed humans to enter. The announcer explained what was happening to the unsuspecting humans, one of whom broke down crying upon hearing she would be dying soon. He explained that they were freshly washed and ready to be eaten. He then brought attention to the large woman next to him, “Big Madam,” he said, “has been kind enough to to allow her scraper to entertain you tonight.” Another door opened and out stepped a small girl with long white hair carrying two small hand knives. The only male in the group of humans must have thought he could overpower her because he ran up to her but was soon stabbed in the eye with her knife. She had somehow jumped high enough to reach his eyes before inflicting the burial attack on the man.   
She laughed at his cries. She called herself a ’good boy’ as she went on to kill the man and after only 15 minutes she had killed the 5 humans and went back into the door she came out of. A couple minutes later the fresh kill was placed on everyone's tables as they ate their food. She had gotten a piece of the crying girl’s arms as well as the undamaged eye from the male. She neatly ate her food while creating small talk with Shuu. She found him correcting her pronunciations as she taught him English sayings and phrases. They formed an easy connection, neither fully trusting the other yet both laughing and telling mostly truths to each question they were asked. Even when they were done she couldn't make herself leave. She almost wished she'd come again just to sit and talk with him like this again.   
When they were finally finished she changed back into the normal clothes, a black sweatshirt and new-to-her jeans. Once she was far enough away she switched her mask for her sunglasses and headed for the 4th ward, back to her makeshift home only blocks from HySy ArtMask Studio.


	3. Helter-skelter

Vera woke up with a start. She wasn’t sure what exactly woke her up, nothing around her seemed off in the slightest, yet here she was, grabbing her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Must have been a nightmare again, she thought to herself. She hated thinking about her past, but every night she’d dream about it. She sighed and got out of her tiny tent on top an apartment building in the first ward. The fourth ward became too boring for her; the lack of any real danger put her on edge more than anything. Vera was used to ghouls fighting over territory at night and it would seem Mr. Uta the mask maker scared everyone away. She almost missed him, the creepy dude from Shinjuku, almost enough to go see him again. She stretched and sighed, it would take almost two hours to walk there, one and a half if she ran, or more money than she was willing to spend to take two trains up there. It was only 6 o'clock, maybe a jog would be nice.  
On the other side of the journey, Uta had been up for hours- 37 and a half to be exact- and yet couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes long enough to sleep. He hated days like these, days where he couldn’t close his eyes without thinking of them, the people- his friends- who died in front of him. He may have let them die, never lifting a finger to help, but it’s how it was back then. You died if you weren't strong enough to live. The worst part is that it’s not even all his old friends that he mourns, not even most, just the select few that got under his skin enough to affect him. Part of him wonders how Renji is really handling the deaths, they don't talk about it- they never did- but he knows how soft his friend is when it comes to that; especially after his sister died.  
The terror Uta brought onto the fourth ward was more than he’d like to admit, it would seem to rain blood every night he’d hunt, such a waste, he thought, too much wasted on nothing. He hated who he was, and thats why he’s standing out front a convenience store at almost 7:30 with 1,500 yen in his pocket, ready to re-dye his hair black after all these year. He licked his re-pierced lip; Renji had helped him out after it fell out in his sleep a couple months ago. Finally the small shop opened and Uta went straight for the hair care aisle and grabbed the cheapest box he could find, 1,450 he could afford. Placing the small box on the counter the shop owned didn’t even look at him as he scanned his item, from fear or disgust he wasn’t sure, but after only 2 minutes in the shop Uta was on his way back to his little mask shop he called home. Behind his dark shades Uta’s eyes widened, he could smell her before he saw her, there was the one eyed ghoul, alive and well propped up against the wall waiting for him. He had to laugh at the sight before him.  
Fuck it’s cold, she thought again to herself. December in Tokyo wasn’t like December in Australia, it was cold and downright miserable to have to walk anywhere. She had walked from the fourth ward back in late October, but it wasn’t as bad as it was right then. Vera stopped herself from shivering when she knocked on the door, the open sign was turned off, but she hoped he was there. When there was no movement on the other side of the door she leaned back on the wall next to the door, she almost thought about setting up her tent in front of his shop, but decided against it. Instead she huddled inside her jacket, silently praying that he'd show up soon. Like her prays had been answered, she heard a laugh to her right. Uta stood there was a plain plastic bag in hand. She smiled at him, it was good to see him, even though there seemed to be something off about him. He grabbed his keys and let them both in, the room was dark as always; it seemed even turning on the lights did nothing to really brighten the small room. Different masks lined the walls this time, replacing the ones that were there before. She wondered how many people had bought from him in order to hide from the CCG. “Do you make masks for everyone in Tokyo?”  
Uta had just placed his bag down behind his desk and looked up at her. “Mostly, unless they make them themselves.”  
“You could destroy the ghoul population with the right phone call then, couldn’t you?”  
He laughed, it was the same thing Itori had said when he opened the shop. “I could, but i don't give out customer secrets. There is a level of trust that needs to be exchanged between me and the wearer.”  
Vera looked along the wall of masks, lightly touching the ones in reach. “Is that why you don't turn off your kakugan?”   
He thought about it for a second, no one seemed to question him on his eyes, save for the few humans that were brave enough to ask. Maybe he could lie, tell her that it was the reason, or that he somehow couldn't control his kakugan, but he could also tell the truth; establish some trust that she had felt with him. He didn’t know what to do, it was unlike him to wonder what to tell people- he could usually decode someone enough to see what they wanted to hear. But Vera confused him, he couldn’t get a good enough read on her to tell. “Aesthetics.”   
“Really?”  
He shrugged, “I always thought they were beautiful, when I realized I could control them I always had them on.”  
“What color are your real eyes?”  
“Brown.”   
She looked back at him and tried to picture him with human like brown eyes, but she couldn’t. Red eyes really did suit him. Before she could reply he spoke up again, “Can you take off your glasses again? I would love to see yours again.” she hesitated, she couldn't help but think about everything that could go wrong if she did. “The shop is still closed until noon, no one will come by before then either.” she swore he was a mind reader. She looked back at the mask in front of her and nodded. She slipped the dark glasses off her face slowly, waiting for her captor to jump out from behind the, she didn't even know where he could hide, but it was always a fear of hers that he would come back and take her if anyone found out about her. Once the plastic was off her nose and hand gently grabbed her chin and turned her to face him. He smiled at her, her right eye that piercing red and black color he really did love, he didn’t lie about loving the look of their eyes. They stared at each other for a couple minutes, both studying the others face for anything that showed what they were thinking. Vera’s face was an open book, allowing herself to hide behind the glasses made her eyes shine with every emotion she felt. The stark difference between her two sides made him smile.  
“So,” Uta started again, “why were you hanging around my shop?”  
“I was getting bored of being by myself.”   
“So you came here?”  
Vera laughed, “everyone else I know moves around a lot more than you.”  
She was lying, he could read it in her eyes, but he let it go. “You still got the mask i gave you?”  
“Of course.”  
“Want to help me dye my hair?”  
She was taken back, she didn't know where this came from. “Uhh, sure?”  
“Perfect, come up with me and we can start working on it.” he grabbed his bag and walked up the stairs to his small flat above his shop. The apartment wasn’t much brighter than his shop, but somehow that didn’t bother her as much as his shop did. The walls were a simple off white, a couple masks he made were hung up, collecting dust on his walls. A large bed sat in the middle of the room, blocking the path to the tiny kitchen in the back. Uta rummaged through his clothes before finding a small bleach stained tank top and shorts. “I’ll be right back.” and off through the only door to the left of his bed. Vera found herself walking closer to the bed and placed her hand on it, it was much softer than what she has slept on the past couple of weeks- years really. Without thinking Vera found herself laying on his bed, comfortable for the first time in forever.   
Uta found his little visitor falling asleep on his bed, he cleared his throat, hoping to wake her up without having to touch her. She shot up looking around, he almost laughed at the look on her face, obviously she hadn’t realized she was falling asleep. “Ready?”   
Vera yawned and nodded. She hadn’t realized how tired she was. Walking into the smaller than life bathroom, she noticed that he had everything set up. Handing her a pair of gloves she quickly put them on. “What do you need me to do?”   
Uta ran his fingers through his dead, bleached hair and said, “it’s really easy, just put the dye in my hair- make sure to get all of it- and then we’ll let it sit for, let me see,” he grabbed the box and read the back, “at least 30 minutes, 45 for ‘unaturally’ dark hair.” She nodded and started working on his hair, the contrast of the colors making it easy to see if she missed any spots. After 5 minutes of coloring, both of his ears would match his hair. “Don't worry about it,” he assured her after she apologized again after it was done, “it’s all just part of the process.”   
After the 35 minute wait, Vera was asleep, again, on his bed when he went to take a shower. She was almost kind of cute when she slept. Stepping out of the shower he blow dried his hair and went to go wake Vera up. This time though she was awake and ready to see her masterpiece. She gasped at his now dark hair, she wanted to run her fingers through it. “That looks great, much better than the blonde.”  
“Thanks, I was thinking about showing it to my other friends, want to come?”  
“Where to?”   
“Nakano. It’s only an hour walk. You can borrow one of my jackets if yours isn't warm enough.”  
Vera thought about it for a second, but ultimately decided she’d go. Her short nap really perked her mood. “What about your shop? Doesn't it open at noon?”  
He shrugged, “i know the owner, he’d be fine with it.” Vera rolled her eyes and shook her head, iI guess he has a point there. Uta handed her a spare jacket and they were on their way, ready to show the Itori his new hair.  
\---  
The walk took longer than expected. Unexpected blockades and general shittness made them take the long way there. Vera wore two jackets over her long sleeve shirt and was still dying to get inside when they finally made it to the bar. Itori had just opened her bar up a month ago after much support from both Uta and Renji, the latter helped perfect her blood wine recipe. The small bell rang overhead as they opened the door and what was inside surprised her. The underground bar was warm, hot almost, and had red orange undertones to it. It wasn’t much bigger than Uta’s shop, though it did feel more crowded with the surplus of chairs and tables around the room. Inside sat two people Vera had never seen before; Itori was pouring a glass of wine for herself while Renji sat with a cup of coffee before he had to leave for work. He had been working for Yoshimura for just over a year and a half now, and while he quit trying to make coffee, he still enjoyed a cup before he had to start his day.  
When the bell rang Itori looked up from her glass and smiled, she loved the sight of new people. New people meant new information, and information was powerful in Tokyo. “Uta!” she exclaimed, the sense of familiarity prevalent in her voice, “you re-pierced you lip, i was wondering when you’d get around to it.” she jumped over her bar, gave him a hug and whispered something in his ear. When he shook his head Vera wondered what she said, but before she could dwell on it, Itori’s attention was on her. “How rude of me, my name is Itori, and that lump of seriousness is Renji and welcome to Helter Skelter.” she stuck out her hand, which Vera gladly returned. After an awkward introduction, Vera sat down at the bar with Itori handing her a glass of her wine. “Tell me how you like it, i always need honest opinions.”  
Vera took a sip and the cool liquid slid down her throat smoothly. “It’s really nice,” she took another sip before putting it down, “it’s very sweet.”  
“Is it too sweet?”  
She put her hands out in front of her, “no, no. I’m just not use to it tasting like that.”  
Itroi laughed, “that's the fermentation, its alcoholic,” she poured Uta a glass of it as well, “Ren here stopped drinking right before i opened this place up.” she shot a playful glare at her friend.   
This time he spoke up, “I can’t be hungover to do my job,” somehow he was both emotionless and sarcastic when he spoke. Vera watched their back and forth banter, taking sips of her wine in the process. In her years traveling the world, she had never been to a bar the served ghouls. She didn’t even think she had seen someone successfully make alcohol that they could consume.   
Uta watched Vera take tiny sips of her wine, he was surprised how welcoming his friends were to the new addition. Last time he had brought a girl around Yomo he had scared her off, yet here he was, ignoring her like he did everyone else. He sighed, finishing off his wine. He wasn’t sure why his actions were getting to him. They never even officially went out, but now he’s jealous that his Raven isn't jealous. His female friend wondered if she was human, it would seem no one but him could smell the ghoul on her. On their walk here they had passed a group of ghouls, all who whispered about him walking with a human. To him it was obvious what she was, but somehow no one else saw it.  
He reached over the counter and poured himself another one, she’d be upset but wouldn't stop him. Much to his dismay and delight, no one even noticed him slip the bottle back. He took a big gulp, almost downing the glass in the process. He wanted Renji to notice him. That 2nd glass hit him hard when he stood up. He may be in his mid 20’s, but Yomo always brought the worst out of him. Uta slipped into the stool next to him, Renji could smell the alcohol on him as he put his lips to his ear, “Aren’t you going to scare her off too?”  
Yomo looked at his friend, he forgot how much of a lightweight Uta could be. “When's the last time you slept?”  
Uta pulled away, what kind of question was that.  
“You only get this drunk when you haven’t slept. Come on, i'll give you a ride.” Renji grabbed his wrist to pull him up.  
Uta yanked his arm away, almost falling off the chair in the process. “No. I can walk.”  
He got up to leave but didn’t make it far before Yomo grabbed his arm again. He again pulled himself away from his former lover, it was a bad idea coming here. By this time Vera noticed Uta walking out the door. She apologized for his behavior and ran out to follow him, they had only been there for an hour, and he was going to abandon her around unknown ghouls. By the time she caught up with him he was turning- and stumbling- down an alleyway. “Wait up!” she called after him. When she turned down the alley she was faced with a sight she didn’t think would fall before her; drunk Uta trying to fight an investigator that just finished off another ghoul.  
She hid behind a trash can and pulled out her mask. She quickly clicked the leather straps behind her head and jumped out into the fight. She didn't know what she was doing, every time she’d hit the quinque the force would crack her forearm. She couldn’t decide what she wanted to do. She pushed a stumbling Uta out of her way and activated her kagune, the blades slid around her arms, this allowed her to block him without taking any damage herself. Finally she broke the rounded quinque and the human was left defenseless. With a quick jab to his head with her right kokaku, the investigator fell down with a thud. She didn’t think she killed him, but at this point she didn’t care. The CCG adjent had got a couple good hits in, her left side was bleeding more than she ever had before. She pulled Uta up, stumbled a couple of feet, and promptly fell down in a puddle.   
The last thing she saw was a passive Yomo looking down at her, shaking his head.


	4. Development

By the time Vera woke up she was alone. The room smelt like dry paint and leather, but she was too weak to activate her kakugan to see clearly. What she could see was something dangling from the ceiling, a small window that glowed green from the lights outside and light coming from the hallway though the open door.  
Vera didn't know where she was.  
She tried to sit up but pain shot through her abdomen, jogging her memory of why she was here. “I tried to fight a CCG agent?” She thought to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut, her blurry vision giving her already weakened state a headache. She needed to feed, she was well aware what happened when ghouls were this hurt. She pushed herself through the pain and stood up, the sent of ghoul crawled in as a shadow appeared at the door. Not thinking Vera ran, the best she could, at it and bit down, not at all caring who this ghoul was. Once it's blood touched her tongue she snapped back into reality, she was at Uta’s house, in his room, eating his flesh. By this time she had already chewed her bite off him and jumped off him. The lasting pain of her wounds faded as her body started digesting the RC filled meat. She looked up at him, he was holding his arm where she had fed from but otherwise looked unfazed by her attack. “Uta…” she started, but he took his hand off the wound and showed it was completely healed.  
His mouth turned upwards in a small smile, “I didn't think I'd like to be eaten that much.” His eyes were a little hooded and his voice a little deeper, but Vera stared at his healed arm, not even paying attention to his remark. Uta played with his lip ring for a second, he was uncomfortable with her staring at him, most people avoided eye contact with him yet here she was not taking her eyes off him. “Vera?”  
Her eyes snapped back up to his, the look of wonder prevalent in her eyes. “You're not mad?”  
He shrugged, “I should've left something in here for you to eat. You've been out for almost a day, I'm surprised you didn't die honestly.” She looked down and muttered something in English and looked back at him. When their eyes met again he saw her kakugan start to fade, the small bite from him healed her wounds but didn't give her any more energy than she had when she woke up. Slowly her red eye turned blue and she blinked.  
She blinked and suddenly he was very blurry; she saw his red and black eyes as the Now red light from the window caught them just right. She looked around but without much light she couldn't see much of anything in his room. “Is your friend still here?” She asked suddenly worried he'd seen her eyes.  
“No,” he answered, “Renji left after I sobered up enough to watch after you.” His eyes looked away from her, “I shouldn't have gotten drunk like that. I'm too much of a lightweight to control myself and got into some stupid fight with a Dove and I shouldn't have done that.” It was almost an apology, probably the only one he’d ever give her, but he did feel bad about her getting hurt because of him. He had talked to Renji about it in his drunken state, that much her remembered, and he said they fought after Uta had been knocked down. For some reason Uta stayed down until after the fight and helped Ren bring Vera to his apartment.  
Uta knew why he attacked that Dove. Just two years prior he had killed many of the clowns that had fought in the 4th ward; he and one of his buddies had almost killed Renji, so when he saw him there in the ally, finishing off another kill, Uta saw red. His jealousy, his anger, his fear, his pain filled him and he attacked. He wanted to prolong the fight, he wanted to feel the flesh of the guy peel away at his fingertips, he wanted revenge for the pain he caused Renji. He didn't care about the other clowns, yeah he was mad they were killed but he was mad because they had to go underground after that, he lost his position as peacekeeper because of it and he was angry.  
Ren told him the guy was alive when they left, but unless someone saved him quick he was as good as dead. For the first couple of hours after Ren left Uta was mad at Vera, he wondered how much damage was from him and how much was from her, but when she wouldn't wake up after 12 hours he started to worry. 20 hours after their fight he went and checked on her when she attacked him.  
“I'm still sorry I attacked you,” she said breaking him from his thoughts. The light outside was now yellow, and reflected off her blonde hair, making her face glow. She was still tired and worn, but the light made her shine like the first time they met the yellow light from his shop wasn't much different from this light now.  
“It's okay, let me get you something to eat.”  
She waited for him to come back and at some point fell asleep. When she woke up again the room was red and a plate of food sat next to a now cold cup of coffee. She picked up the plate and ate with her fingers, ignoring the utensils he set aside for her. About halfway through her meal Uta came back into the room. He smiled at her blood covered fingers. “Don't like chopsticks?”  
She looked back over at the two wood colored sticks, untouched and clean. “I don't know how to use them,” she admitted.  
“Let me teach you.” He grabbed them off the side table and kneeled down beside her. He positioned the sticks in his hand perfectly and handed them to her. She fiddled around with them until she thought it was correct. “No no, hold this one like you would a pencil,” he repositioned her hand, “and hold the other one like this so you can move it with your other finger.” By the time he was done her hand was cramping from the uncomfortable position. Noticing her discomfort he asked “have you never held a pencil before?” She looked away and that's all he needed. “Can you read?”  
“No.”  
He looked into her eyes and then back to her stiff hand. “Let me see if I can find you a fork.” And left the room. Vera continued to eat with her fingers and failing to pick up a bite with the chopsticks. When Uta came back empty handed she was already done and was drinking the cold coffee. He felt stupid for not thinking about her status as a foreigner, he had no idea what schooling was like outside of Japan. The lucky few would learn to read and write as a child but most ghouls learned at least basic reading by the time they were 25. Uta’s mother had taught him what she could, but she wasn't educated or powerful like he would become. Her foreign features hid her age from him, but she couldn't be much older or younger than he was. Without thinking he asked “how old are you?”  
She looked down again, “24 I think.”  
“You think?”  
“I…” she started. Vera wondered if she should tell him anything. But now that she could see she noticed that he was genuinely concerned and sad about this. “I was kidnapped when I was young, and I'm not 100% sure how long I was there, but I think it was 10 years. So 10 years before, 10 years during and 4 years after I should be 24.” She shrugged, “not that it really matters, I mean what has age got to do with anything in my life?” He sat down on the bed next to her.  
“I could teach you-”  
“No,” she laughed, “I've lived this long without the skills I'm sure I can live much longer without it.”  
“Can I ask more questions?”  
“Sure. I might not answer all of them.”  
“How were you made?” He asked for the 2nd time.  
“My mom was a human and my dad was a ghoul. I'm sure I don't need to go into the rest.”  
“How did she carry the pregnancy to term?”  
“I don't know, my dad never told me. My mom broke up with him when she found out she was pregnant, a couple months after I was born my dad found us and he killed her. I'm not even sure he knows how she did it.”  
“What happened to your dad?”  
Vera shrugged,”Not sure. Haven't seen him in 14 years.”  
“What happened while you were kidnapped?”  
Vera thought about what to tell him. She didn't want to tell him anything if she didn't have to, she was tired of having to relive everything when she thought about it. She paused for a while, thinking of everything and nothing. She remembered her mostly starved self breaking free and devouring a ghoul for the first time. The power it gave her both physically and mentally; nothing could stop her. But then the power wore off and she was alone with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. “I don't want to talk about it.”  
Uta knew she wouldn't, but he had to try. “Okay, how did you learn Japanese?”  
“When I was in Sydney I met a ghoul from Japan, he taught me the language, somewhat, then told me a lot of Tokyo and the way ghouls around here were different. So I left there and came here. My Japanese wasn't as good as I thought it was when I got here.”  
“It's a lot better now.”  
She smiled, “thank you. Now it's my turn to ask questions?”  
Uta rolled his eyes, “if you want.”  
“Why did you leave the bar like that?”  
Uta sighed, he should've guessed she'd ask something like that. “Me and Ren kinda went out a couple of years ago. After that anyone I'd bring over he'd scare them off, I guess I liked the possessiveness he had over me and when he didn't show any of that with you… I lost it.”  
“Are you gay?”  
Uta laughed; he laughed harder than he had in years. He wasn't sure why, it was a valid question after what he said, but the bluntness of her voice had him crying. “No, I like whoever I like.”  
“So bi?”  
“Yeah, I guess so.”  
Vera smiled at him, the little bit of eyeliner he on had smeared down his face, Vera used what was left of her jacket sleeve to wipe off his cheeks. Her jacket was ruined; the left sleeve was ripped off, the midsection completely covered in blood and the hood was split in two. She either didn't realize or she just didn't care that everything that she owned was covered in blood. Her bag, which was placed in the sink when they had came up the stairs into his apartment, turned from a pale yellow color to a dark maroon color. Uta’s sheets would need a washing, luckily they were black. And after over a day away from her tent on top of a building in the 1st ward the CCG had discovered a baggie full of meat that she had accidentally left there. Vera was homeless again and she didn't even know it yet.  
Uta noticed how beat up her jacket was. He walked over to his closet and picked up a couple articles of clothing that he thought would fit her. A white t shirt he forgot he had, some old boxer briefs and a pair of Itori’s pants she had left there months ago. “Here,” he said handing her the clothes, “I have other pants if those don't fit, you can use the shower too if you need to,” and quickly left the room.  
Vera stood up and finally saw the state of her clothing, but she was glad no one tried to undress her while she was passed out. She walked into the bathroom and peeled off her shirt. Her side was healed, she was never a fast healer, blaming her human mother on that, but this took a lot longer than most wounds took to heal. She turned on the hot water and stepped in. She ripped her jeans down the side to get them off and started washing her body. The water helped but she would still be stained pink when she got out. Vera noticed black dots of dye from yesterday around the shampoo bottle when she grabbed for it. Slowly she got out and dressed, Itori’s pants fitting a little more snug than what she's used to. She wrapped her hair in a towel and went back into his room.  
Uta tried to save some stuff from her bag, but most of it was ruined. Her wallet saved what money she had and a small bag with two eyes survived, but when Uta opened the bag, he could tell it had gone rotten. It must have been in there for a couple of days. Not unlike humans, ghouls get sick off rotten meat. Once the body starts to decompose it's almost useless to ghouls. He threw the bag and the eyes away, disappointed. Uta quickly put the stuff back into her bag when he heard the water turn off. A couple minutes later Vera walks out with her hair in his blue towel. “Feeling better?”  
“Yes thank you,” she looked over at her ruined bag, “anything still usable?”  
“Just your wallet.”  
She grabbed her wallet out, looked though the bag for a couple of minutes and dumped the rest in his trash. “I'm going to need new stuff huh?”  
“Unless you want to live in those clothes forever.” Vera sighed, she hated shopping. “There's a thrift store right down the street, let me buy you something, it's the least I could do.”  
She looked up at him, the least he could do was not get drunk like that and actually help her in the fight, but she supposed that she'd allow it. “I don't have a jacket.”  
“I have plenty,” he retorted.  
She smiled, “okay.”  
Uta bought her a new bag and a jacket with the rest of the spending money he had. Vera bought everything else she needed, but she didn't mind shopping with Uta. Her blonde hair stood out among all the black haired citizens but Uta’s piercings seemed to draw more of the attention away from her. He was use to the stairs, but it was nice to not be the only one people looked at. The couple of times he would go out in public with someone he’d be the odd one out. But this time he blended into the background like he wanted.  
Vera packed her things away and said goodbye to Uta to set off back to the first ward where her little “house” was. Uta waved her off only to let her back inside 6 hours later when she came back.  
“Someone turned me in” she said, sitting down on one of the stools in his shop. “The CCG were everywhere around where I was staying, I'm surprised no one saw me.”  
Uta continued on his sketch that he'd been working on since he sobered up, he still hadn't slept more than a couple hours. It was amazingly detailed, every line every shadow had a purpose on the page. Uta pulled out his dinner and worked in silence as Vera looked around the shop once more. Of course nothing was different, she had just looked around yesterday, but it still amazed her how beautiful they were.  
She stopped in front of a blue and red mask, the contrast between the colors catching her eye. The light, almost baby blue color stood out from the crimson red background. The blue lines, somehow both sharp and smooth swirled around, cupping the cheek and wrapping around the chin, if she didn't already have a mask she would've wanted this one. She looked back over at Uta, he used one hand to eat and one hand to draw. Vera didn't know how he did it, he chewed slowly, every couple pencil stroke earning him another crunch. Uta picked up another finger with his sticks, a loud snap when he broke the finger in half, “hungry?”  
Part of her blush that she got caught staring, but she pushed it aside and walked over to grab the half a finger. Uta watched her eat, adoring the veins that grew from her right eye. He reached up and grabbed her glasses and took them off her face. He loved the contrast of her eyes, the light blue and dark red.  
Uta let her spend the night, on the couch this time, when she asked. He didn't know what it was about the halfling, but he felt protective of her. Last night he had almost told Ren about her being a half ghoul, but it wasn't the right time, he'd keep this information to himself until he could use it. She reminded him of Roma in a way, they were both small and older than him, but where Roma acts weak but is strong, Vera acts strong but is weak. Maybe that's where his feelings come from; he wanted to protect her because she was weak.  
Vera laid down on his worn out couch, thinking about a lot of the same things and Uta. She never told anyone of her halfling status, her father of course told some people and those people took her away for most of the life she remembers. She knew her kagune is weak, a result of continued RC suppressants shots and the surgical removal of her original one. She was strong in her opinion, yet she could still feel where the Dove had taken a chunk out of her. She was strong with ghoul flesh inside her, everything else made her weak. Uta's skin had healed the rest quickly, his RC level count must be off the charts. Vera sighed and turned over again, she can't think of Uta right now, the feelings she was developing needed to stop before they went out of control. Vera closed her eyes, unknown to her another set of eyes opened at the same time.  
\--  
A man sat in a hospital bed, he was recovering quickly for how much damage he had taken. A higher up in the department knocked on the door. “Hello, I am Iba,” he bowed his head respectfully, “may I ask you a few questions?”  
The man replied, “of course sir.”  
“Can you tell me what happened?”  
He sighed, he didn't remember much of what happened, the brain damage he took was greater than he'd ever admit, so he gave the best answer he could. “I had just gotten done with a low C level ghoul when NoFace attacked me out of no where. He moved too fast for me to get a good look at his face but his hair is now black. But he didn't do the most damage, another ghoul- a female- pushed him back and did most of this.” He gestured to his bandaged head.  
“Hirako, can you describe the female ghoul who did this to you?”  
“She had a mask on, but it had red stitching across it…”

**Author's Note:**

> I also posted this story on fanfiction . Net under the same name


End file.
